New Me, New You, New Year

Have you ever thought that each moment you are a new you? That the moment, second, minute, hour prior to this one in now in the past and just a part of your memory, your history and your life?

I have been having twink lings of this message for quite some time now. It has come along with the feeling that I am really O.K. again. And, actually that I am more O.K. than I have been in a long time and that I am even EXCITED about me being so O.K. about me!

Well, O.K. .... lets get on with this musing - as 2008 is past and before me and you is a fresh slate - a New Year - a new dawn - yes - ...

Little discoveries I have noticed about this message I am receiving have come in the way of my general disposition. I have left the anger, the sadness and the life sucks mode and have now entered into some new phase of being. It gives me a feeling of youth to some degree! And with that new bounce in my step is a sense of adventure, excitement and eagerness to step out into the world of life and be ready for what may come!

Perhaps it has to do with the 10minute Workout DVDs that I caved in and purchased one night while at Matts working! Yes, it was an infomercial. I watched and listened to these testimonials, seeing the flab, the fat and the sad forlorn-looks in the BEFORE pictures. And, then there were the new look AFTER pictures. I told myself - I didn't need this, I wouldn't use them - etc, etc. But - as the well planned testimonials got more touching and therefore more believing - the final one was the straw! Yes, there was a woman in her 50's whose life had been totally turned around by doing this daily 10 minute workout. The pictures proved it. She was even crying during the interview! That did it! I was sold! I told myself - "Deb, first of all - you are worth the $ - secondly - you have only about 10" per day to workout - and thirdly - it's your birthday! So....there!" I then picked up my cell phone and called! For the money I spent, I received 2 DVD's, a pair of resistance bands, two handles, a journal and of course the most important item - a measuring tape!

The first time I attempted to do this workout, my heart was racing after 40 seconds, I was sweating furiously and couldn't do half of what the instructors were doing or nearly as effortlessly at all! Let's put it this way! I am glad I live alone! I was so sore the next day - everywhere - I couldn't believe it! Really, was I in that bad of shape I asked myself? Yes, I did the measuring and the weighing and the journaling. I haven't done the workouts which include: cardio, total body, lower body, core, upper body, and yoga every day, but attempt to do it every other day! I have even added a second 10" workout on some days and can actually do some of these movements with some degree of finesse (OK, that's a lie, maybe with some degree of 50something adequacy!)
The infomercials claim was a one jean size drop in 10 days if you did this daily!
So.... I haven't done it daily, I haven't dropped a jean size, but - I do feel better about me. I did get the tape measure out again the other night - hoping to see inches that have somehow vaporized! Well, maybe if I hold the tape just a little tighter - or in a slightly different spot! It is too early anyway! right? Of course, the aches and pains haven't totally gone away - my left thumb joint is swollen and so sore that I can not really support myself when I am doing the military push ups and downward dog or whatever these calisthenics are called! But - I am trying. And....that is my message for today.

Each day, I want to try to be a better and new me. I have no idea what this New Year will bring. But, I do look forward to a new sunrise, a new day, a new blue sky, a new coat of snow, a new evening sky, new ideas, a new recipe, a new season of American Idol,and new friendships.

A recent article in the paper was about a 40-something mother who died of sarcoma on Christmas Eve. She had two small children. She was a writer and a blogger. She lived with her cancer for 17 months. I read the article with a compassionate heart, feeling for her husband, her children and for this being who touched so many lives. It was the quote she selected -if she should die, that she wanted her husband to post on her blog, lemmondrops.blogspot.com - that brought the tears to my eyes that day.

"And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth."

— Raymond Carver


Happy New Year!

Fondly with Love,

Deb