Technology and stuff

My computer is broken! I hate the inconvenience it has caused. I am having to use Abby's laptop which is like a whole different feeling under my fingertips. But, while she is on a walk, I will spill out whats inside.

As much as I love my computer, the internet, and the fast easy convenience of how it enhances my life, I wonder and worry that all of this techno crap not good.or not good in large dose. Moderation I believe is the key.

I went berry picking this week. It was something I haven't done much of. But, I loved it. It was the perfect day, a nice breeze, a warm hot sun streaming down, and lots of blueberries. I went by myself. I felt comfortable outside, out in the country by myself. There were others there. Toward the end of my two hour stint, a clump of humans convened in the same general area. We were listening to one another's conversations. There were two families with their children out picking berries. Including the fathers. The males were off by themselves, down by me to begin with. They were talking male talk, business, making money, success talk. Soon their young children were by them. I couldn't help thinking how this was such a good family thing to do. I know that Bruce probably wouldn't have gone berry picking with me. I would have taken the kids by myself. I wondered how these women got their men to go with them? I know that all males aren't alike. Bruce was different. He didn't like the hot outside all that much unless he had a golf club in his hand. But,maybe the years have passed by and I am not giving him due credit. Lives evolve and maybe as a young dad he would have been there too, esp. with another male friend to keep him company and a promise of a cold beer and good food later on.

The conversations were about traveling and vacationing. Roadtrips with kids. A gal shared how they had just returned from CO. and the trip was only bearable because they had two laptops, their game boys and movies in their car to keep their kids occupied. I couldn't help myself. Remembering my own childhood, our own family vacations. How did we ever survive? I made some comment about.."if you didn't have technology in the car, just how would you have survived?, how did we ever make it?"
Parenting has changed. Are the expectations less? Is it easier with technology? The poor mother of course felt a bit sheepish and of course I didn't want to make her feel too guilty. But, I did want to make her think. If we don't have expectations for our children other than pushing some colorful electronic something in front of their face. Then, how do we expect them to want to take care of our planet? To care about nature? To care about other human beings?

I know, I go a bit deep, a bit off the wall and maybe this doesn't make sense, but I survived. Our kids survived, without gadgets in the car. Did we have family feuds? Yes! Did we blow up and get mad? Yes! Did the kids fight? Yes!, But...we made up, we forgave and we didn't substitute our feelings. We played car games, we sang to the radio, we created some form of group entertainment for a least a portion of these long road trips. Yes, this is much the same as my father saying, "I used to walk 2 miles to school!"

I bugged Bruce for a few years to get a cell phone. I wanted to be able to get in touch with him. Bruce did not want a cell phone. He resisted, until I cancelled our home long distance. He then decided he had to get one so that he could make a call if he wanted to. When he got one, he went all out and got a palm device. He didn't need that type of phone, but that was Bruce. He spent a least 72 hours being totally frustrated with this damn electronic device. He made a trip up to Maplewood to have them help him program it. All I had wanted for him, was a simple cell phone. I wanted to be able to call him on occassion and get a hold of him. Or leave him a message while he was away on one of his golf outings. He never did use it very well. He would have it in his suitcase instead of on his person when he would arrive back at the airport. He had it for one year. Now Lance is using his phone.

I am glad that Bruce did resist this need to stay in touch. He was himself. He was old fashioned in many ways. It made him unique. Now he doesn't need it anyway. Communication is whats important. Yes, techonology is grand. I am using it at this moment. It is drawing me closer to many wonderful people in this strange format.

He and I communicated for the most part. We talked about most stuff that we needed to talk about. We understood what needed to be said and not said. Yes, we made mistakes. We are human. I know that Bruce had some regrets in the end and so did I. But, he wasn't about looking back. It was as it was. We simply loved one another. And that is how I am ending this posting. The feelings I have for Bruce are still love. No one can take that away from me. I still love him. I love the memories I have of him. His love for me has gone with him. I believe technology will never be able to replace the memory storage our human souls have. That forever ability to remember and recognize another human being we once loved here on earth is out there somewhere. Waiting to connect once again. dialing.....redialing...into eternity. Deb