Golden Moments

Yes, the summer is passing and the oats are turning. I noticed it one day last week. I had been keeping an eye on these fields in the early morning drive to Red Wing. First it was just a hint of light yellow powdered amongst the green fields, but then one morning it was as if during the night someone had spray painted these fields a shining gold. They just smiled at me as if to say, "look here, at all of us, we are representing your golden memories" As that thought surfaced, all of a sudden everything else that was the slightest color of yellow or gold popped out. Signs along the highway, the large pumpkin/squash blossoms in the gardens, the sunflowers, marigolds and the sparkle of the sun on the water. There were the yellow stripes in the middle of the highway that became a ribbon much like the in the land of oz, saying "follow me". All of this yellow highlighting reminded me of greeting cards that are all black and white and just one color, usually red or pink is highlighted. I kept thinking to myself, what came first? - my thought to look at everything golden yellow or was something more powerful than my thoughts sending me a visual reality message? I couldn't help smile and feel good and all of a sudden little fleeting memories of years gone by came to mind. Moments in childhood on the farm in summer with my mom, dad and siblings and then the drives through the country side with Bruce and the kids to and from family times together. The one time how I made him keep stopping along the hi-way on one of our family trips out west so I could take snapshots of wild flowers. Abby in one of her little yellow dance costumes at age 4 - and many more golden yellow memories too numerous to mention here. As I drove into Red Wing, this magical drive continued. Yellow signage began to pop-out. It was the large 3-dimensional words that were painted blue on the front of a building that then caught my attention. I wasn't looking at the front of these 3-foot tall letters, but rather the sides that were painted yellow. These two words were "GOOD YEAR". Yes, the tire company! But, to me it was part of this message that I was being given.

It has been a good year. It is sometimes hard for me to admit it. I have survived 18 months alone. No, not really alone, but then again ~ ALONE! There have been numerous good memories. Lots of new friendships have been made. I am getting comfortable in my new skin, my new job and my new chapter of my life.

It is as if I am a sailboat. The sky is blue, the sun is shining and I can see for quite a distance. My white sails are up and the breeze is gently keeping them full. The water is clear blue, I have control of my rudder again and I feel confident that I can captain this ship - my life. Yes, there are waves that topple over me catching me off guard - but, an assurance of "all will be well" it working in my life.

These grief moments, days and months have been sometimes long, painful, and yes very hard. But, I know that they have been necessary.

I want to take my camera out to the country to capture this golden time of summer. I want to photograph this field as the afternoon sun shines acrossed it. I want to take some close-ups of this precious farm commodity. I believe in this time of summer, they are saying -look at us, if God takes care of us, just imagine what more he will do for you?