After a vist to the Dr upon Abby's urging yesterday morning, I realized there was no way I could go across the state of Wisconsin to Wendy's baby shower. I was too sick to be too disappointed. Dr thought it was the flu, ordered tamiflu. So I came home, chilled and achey, went into our laundry room where I had been keeping Bruce's sweatpants/sweatshirts/things he was wearing these past weeks. I found his favorite sweatpants and old Marching Band Wildcats Sweatshirt, stuck them in the dryer to get them nice and warm - then put them on. I then made up the sofa for myself instead of him. Everymorning, our routine was to get him into the family room and onto the sofa - I would say, " I am going to get your nest nice and cozy for you!" - lining the leather sofa with a blankent, propping pillows just right and taking the fleece blankets and popping them into the dryer - all timed just right to put on him. Yes, nurses are good at making their patients feel extra comfy. Yesterday, I was doing it for myself. As I layed my pounding head on the pillow, feeling the warmth surround me and allowing myself to heal - life went on around me. Abby was getting ready to go to Sheboygan with Ty and Wendy. I dozed on and off. But from the sofa, my mind was on the weeks I had hovered over Bruce, the words we said, the words we didn't say to one another. Mostly sad thoughts were present.
This morning, I lifted my head off of the pillow and it wasn't throbbing. I felt like I might have more energy. No aching muscles were felt as I stepped out of bed. I spent about 30 seconds pondering the possiblity of just getting in the car and driving over to the baby shower. But, then reality hit me. My cough, my throat still hurts and it would be too stressful on me. All of you that know me, know that I am prone to spontaneous actions and that it wouldn't surprise anyone if I would do just that. But, instead, I am going to stay put, in our home- and work on the many thankyous that are still waiting for me.
I can feel Spring. I need to feel this. I see it in the blue skies out the window. And in the warmth of the sunshine. I will tend to the many plants that are new to our home. Yes, the OUR will have to be part of my language for awhile. Bruce is still very much a part of me and all that I do. deb
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Dear Deb, Ty and all other Bruce's family:
My name is Floriane Robins-Brown. I lived in River Falls for about 10 years before moving to Hudson in 1998. I met Bruce almost 12 years when I needed a friendly person to handle all my insurance needs/business. Someone recommended Bruce so strongly. I remember that as soon as I walked in Bruce's office, I felt comfortable and welcomed. Since that day, I have never dealt with another insurance agent other than Bruce and his son Ty. The father and son have been real troopers for my entire family. We are Africans who moved to River Falls and Bruce had become our one-and-only insurance agent. My sisters, my brother-in-laws and my husband were all fond of Bruce. He was truly a sweetheart to my family. I was shocked today (2/26/07) when Ty informed me that his dad passed away on 2/3. I could not believe what I was hearing. Bruce was much too young to leave this earth so soon. Above all, he was loved by so many, even people like us who are strangers to the Tokheim's family. I am deeply saddened to learn this so late. I did not get a chance to say goodbye to Bruce. Nonetheless, I have no doubt that he is in heaven smiling down to all of us. May he rest in peace. To the entire Tokheim family, please accept our condolences from the bottom of our hearts. Floriane & Rodney Brown; Marie Therese & Louis Gakumba; Goretti & Francis Murekezi
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